Hell, I've only just found this out: that last October Elliott Smith died. Stab wound to the chest. Probable suicide. One more reason for tears, the loss of this tender, melancholic musician. One more reason to say good riddance 2003. What a terrible year for losses, losses which make the world an emptier, less soulful place.
I'm going out sleepwalking
Where mute memories start talking
The boss that couldn't help but hurt you
And the pretty thing he made desert you
I'm going out now like a baby
A naive unsatisfiable baby
Grabbing onto whatever's around
For the soaring high or the crushing down
With hidden cracks that don't show
But that constantly just grow
I'm looking for the man that attacked me
While everybody was laughing at me
You beat it in me that part of you
But I'm gonna split us back in two
Tired of living in a cloud
If you're gonna say shit now you'll do it out loud
It's 2:45 in the morning
And I'm putting myself on warning
For waking up in an unknown place
With a recollection you've half erased
Looking for somebody's arms to
Wave away past harms
I'm walking out on center circle
The both of you can just fade to black
I'm walking out on center circle
Been pushed away and I'll never go back
- Elliott Smith, '2.45am', from either/or. The blog title is a line from the same album's closing song, 'say yes'. I'm sure he's right. "'Depressing' isn't a word I would use to describe my music. But there is some sadness in it - there has to be, so that the happiness in it will matter."
john davies
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I'm going out sleepwalking