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john davies
notes from a small vicar
from a parish
in Liverpool, UK

    Monday, January 12, 2004

    Dreams burst today at Bob's funeral. Due less to grief at a friend's father's death; more at the painfulness of tiny, tidy, all-too-brief conversations with people loved and valued for many years but unseen for near-on a decade in some cases.

    Saying hello-goodbye was a terrible wrench. No time to catch-up, re-energise lapsed relationships. Seemed we've all moved on and away from each other. But that's untrue: our masts are still steered by dreams and memories, ethics and incidents which involved us all, when we were close in our formative years.

    What we did together then still informs what we do now. Who we were then determines who we are now. How we turned out has a lot to do with how we were with each other. We don't ever find times and places to celebrate this, even just occasionally. The pain of this has racked me today.